


Cruel Summer

by ahappyphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2011, Friends With Benefits, KickTheSticks - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22160038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahappyphil/pseuds/ahappyphil
Summary: “They’ll make jokes and it’ll be fine and he won’t look over at Phil and Dan with a white hot rage because they flaunt everything he wants but can’t have.”Italy, 2011
Relationships: Chris Kendall/PJ Liguori, Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 23
Kudos: 83





	Cruel Summer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jestbee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jestbee/gifts).



> Happy birthday Jane!
> 
> Thank you Cal for beta work and being a cheerleader <3

Fuck Dan and Phil, honestly. Fuck them and their perfect little love bubble and the way they keep eye fucking each other every five seconds. 

Italy was supposed to mean something. He’d thought he would get some answers. Thought maybe he and PJ could finally have that talk that is far too overdue. About what this is, what this all means, what _they_ are. 

Instead, all Chris has gotten on this trip is awkward conversation and forced jokes and the absolute torture of seeing two people so desperately in love. All their inside jokes, the way Dan knows exactly what to order Phil for a meal, how Phil can’t seem to keep his bloody hands off him. Meanwhile, PJ can’t even look him in the eye.

They’re not dating. They’re not together. He knows that. He knows that a handful of late nights brought on by too much alcohol or boredom or PJ still being torn up about Lex doesn’t really mean anything. 

PJ is straight. He’s told him that about a dozen times, usually after he’s just come on Chris’ hands or mouth. 

It’s fine. He can pretend like it’s nothing. Because it is nothing. He means nothing to PJ and it’s fine. At least he can try to have some fun while he’s here. If it’s all casual and friendly, at least he can play it up. If PJ doesn’t want serious, he can do not serious. 

Hell, he’ll make it all a fucking joke.

He’ll ask him to put sun cream on his back and playfully bant because PJ is almost naked and showing off his legs like he doesn’t know exactly what that does to him. They’ll make jokes and it’ll be fine and he won’t look over at Phil and Dan with a white hot rage because they flaunt everything he wants but can’t have. 

They chase each other like school kids after dinner. Because they’re drunk and in love and having fun in paradise. Because they got to leave their own flat where they get to spend every bloody waking minute together and fuck somewhere warmer. They’re not being discreet about that. They’re his friends. They’re good guys, but the hotel room is small and he can hear those noises at night coming from across the room.

He heard Phil whisper “I love you” one night. That was worse. That hurt in a way he doesn’t want to think about. He’d prefer to hear them fucking honestly. 

For once, Phil and Dan’s never ending thirst for each other works in his favor as they’ve decided to go back up to the room for a “nap”. Bullshit. They’ve been dancing around each other in the pool for an hour, but he doesn’t really care because he finally has PJ alone.

He’s reading on his sun lounger with his sunglasses on. If Chris were a masochist he might pause and notice how his hair is extra wavy or the way his skin has already gone darker and the tan lines he’ll have from his swimming trunks. Luckily, he hasn’t seemed to have noticed half of their group's disappearance and hasn’t made some crap excuse as to why he has to leave as well. 

He tries to act nonchalant as he lays back in the lounger next to PJ’s. Fuck, he probably should have figured out what to say. What even is there to say? 

_Hey we can keep having the benefits, but you also have to do the friend bit too._

_Watching our friends with their perfect relationship makes me sick because I want that with you._

_Why are you embarrassed of me until the lights are off and you're hard?_

_I can’t keep doing this because it’s eating me inside and you don’t even care that you have my heart._

All the possible starts to a much needed conversation come to a screeching halt as soon as PJ places his book down, quickly scans the pool area for the rest of their group, and turns towards him with a smirk. 

He pushes his sunglasses on top of his head and smiles at Chris. It’s warm in a way he hasn’t seen thus far on the trip. His usually piercing eyes that serve as a reminder to just how well and truly fucked he is have softened into something sweeter.

It feels like they’re back home in his flat again. Like they just finished playing a video game and PJ gets shy all of a sudden because he’s too afraid to admit what he wants. What they both want. 

“Let’s go somewhere more private.” 

At least it’s something. If he’s destined for unrequited love, at least he can still have a tiny piece of PJ hidden away, even if it is where no one can see. 

As soon as they stand from their loungers and make their way down the walking path, PJ grabs his hand and doesn’t let go. Not even when other guests pass them. Not even when Chris is brave enough to make eye contact with him. 

PJ just smiles and leads him to wherever they’re going. That’s fine. He’d follow him anywhere.

**Author's Note:**

> Reblog [here](https://ahappydnp.tumblr.com/post/190149532596/cruel-summer-t-860-summary-theyll-make-jokes) :)


End file.
